My Fab Story
In grade school my mother and I never had a proper "Mother/Daughter" relationship. So, each day I would write in my journal. I would write out all of my frustrations, I would complain, cry and laugh while writing. My penmanship eventually became an easy outlet for me. The sad part about it is that even though I felt like the more I wrote in my journal I thought that I was releasing my thoughts, but in reality I was holding even more in. It wasn't until my mother and I had a long one on one conversation. When I say long, I mean LOOOOOOOG!!!! It was a hard step for the both of us. This opened up a door of communication that we needed all along. No, I never hated my mother. I personally felt as though she just never took out the time to listen to me. She would always jump to conclusions instead of hearing me out. All I wanted, well needed was a listening ear. That's all. My senior year of high school was our breakthrough.
My mother is now my biggest supporter and one of my best friends. Yes, I still continued to write, even in college. At this time it became therapeutic. I never even thought about starting a blog. Until, December of 2017 when my grandfather passed away. When I was a little girl, his nickname for me was "Butterfly". Yes, I know its a little weird, but it was his way of knowing exactly who I was. I would call him sometimes and he'd start singing and say, "Hello, my Butterfly. How are you?" I do believe my brothers and I gave him so much joy. We loved him so very much. His passing was very hard for me. In April of 2018, I told myself that I would begin a Blog to do what I love and that was to be who I truly am and inspire everyone who God puts in my path. I know that he is so happy for me and would have had the biggest smile on his face if he would have been here to see my accomplishments. Man, it is really hard writing this right now. Lol. I can't stop my tears from falling.
After a couple of months of starting my blog, in 2018, I lost my motivation. I stopped writing, deleted my blog & deactivated all of my social media accounts. I dug a hole so deep that it would have been impossible for anyone to find me. I jumped right into a dark, empty depression. It was very unhealthy. I didn't eat, sleep or think on my own. But, GOD! I've crawled out of that whole, but yet my mind was still there.
So, here I am sharing my lifestyle with each and every one of you. It is now 2021, and this relaunch of this blog is long overdue. I hope that this blog helps someone, if not everyone, overcome any and everything. Nothing is impossible. Look at me. I am an imperfect lady with class who enjoys uplifting others through my very own daily unrefined life. I am clumsy and can't help not knowing how to adult properly. Let's be honest, I constantly talk to myself in the mirror, I forget to respond to messages, and I trip over my own feet from time to time. In the mist of my imperfections, I am a heartwarming & loving 27 year old who can't help but to open my arms as wide as I can to give out the warmest hug you'll ever have. Today, is only the beginning of what's in store. Stay Positive, Love Hard, & Be You!!
- Shartenek Dishe'al
